Bittersweet Reflection

It's August, 3 days of the 2026-27 school year have passed, and while I thought I'd being finished with my Global Guide well before school began, here I am typing away, getting lost in the memories, not quite at the finish line, yet.

I've been asking myself why that is? Why I haven't made the time to sit down and reflect? To share all that I've learned? To record for eternity the memories, laughs, food, knowledge, and love of a new-to-me land?

After much debate, soul searching, and psychoanalysis (as soley an individual interested in the human condition) I've come to the following conclusion...

the delay on this capstone is not procrastination.

Sitting here at my computer with 3 weeks to the deadline is not my Panic Monster (thank you Tim Urban) freaking out; even though the Procrastination Monkey did spend the last 4 hours looking at over 3,000 photos from Morocco, texting several members of my cohort, and planning what gift I will take with me to Chicago when I visit a Team Morocco Fulbrighter next month, one I refer to as my Fairy Godmother (je t'aime Madame).

The delay in the completion of this Capstone is grief.

Grief at a moment in time coming to an end; In saying goodbye to 12 amazing people. Grief in saying goodbye to a nation that filled my heart with new friendships, knowledge, memories, and adventure. An experience that helped create new confidence, purpose, identity, and chosen family in Team Morocco. But the capstone isn't a goodbye, it's a let me share what I've learned and who I'm fortunate enough to call friend.

And no, I'm not being dramatic. This truly is the experience and trip of a lifetime. And I didn't understand what that meant or what it would feel like until I lived it. And if I recorded everything and finished my captone, then it would mean that it's all over. And that's the denial stage, putting off the end to make the moments last.

But, as I write this post and continue to reflect, laughing out loud at some of the photos (Princess Jasmine, I see you), I realize there is no end to this. I'm ready to share and complete the project, because I don't give up. And because the Type A Virgo Perfectionist will learn, and accept that this is enough, that I've given the Global Guide my best, and I can continue to add to it over time. To record other experiences, travels, knowledge, because every day is an Ed-venture.